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Tag a strong girl and share. Is it only me or do all men learn to sleep on an 8 inch strip at the edge of the bed? Irrespective of the size of the bed, or how many people are in it, I always find myself relegated to the 'man zone'.

At least the bed's nice and warm, even if the reception isn't sometimes! I hope that next Sunday, on NationalLieInDay, I'll not only gain another hour in bed, but more space - but it's doubtful!

If you want to regain that hour and some space for that matter click in the link in my bio, loads of great prizes to be won SimbaSleep bedrealestate livingontheedge girls twins daughters therestoomanygirls fatherofdaughters dadlife instadad gopro.

Clemmie gave me a pretty simple job this evening - "go pack the baby bag" we're going away for a night. A plan developed in my head why can't I take anything seriously?!

I called her in - "well you said pack the baby bag!! She didn't. This is us 2 minutes after the number of kids we were responsible went from 2 to 4.

I took it for granted that our children would be healthy and that their births would by trouble free. Thank you all lovely people. Teething is now in full effect and the girls want us to know all about it.

An email would have sufficed but it seems they'd rather use their voices to get the message across that they really aren't enjoying this stage of development.

Its not straight screaming, it's more like the sound a wounded animal might make that just wants to end it all.

I can't blame them though, it's like a mini scene from 'Alien' in there at the moment, just in very very slow motion and of course teeth don't then go on to kill you and the crew of your ship so a few subtle differences but essentially the same.

Developed a New product this evening - child shoes. They cost a fortune, stop you from achieving anything, age you dramatically, are never clean despite washing them regularly and never go in the direction you ask them to.

Come to think about it, these sound terrible. Back to the drawing board After long day of walking around and playing, The twins needed a bath and I needed a wash so day 2 of dadtakeover ended like this.

I dont run baths just for myself I'm a man after all. In theory this sharing of a bath was a good idea. In reality it felt like I was an uninvited blue whale who'd gatecrashed a private spa for small people.

If looks from babies could kill, I'd have been dead for sure. Strategically placed flannels were used in the taking of this picture. And yes I took the picture on a tripod before people ask!

Im on my own! On to day 3. If there is one thing that us dads are good for its being used as a mobile human climbing frame.

We're practicing our routine for britain's got talent, the talent being how many family members can hang off me kind of a real life buckaroo game before I slip a disc and crumple into a pathetic mess crying like a child who's grazed their knee for the first time.

Come see us on the BGT tour next year. Should I get offended that when I'm in charge of dressing the girls, instead of being given free rein to 'get creative' and use my couture fashion eye to create a 'wow' outfit that will catch the eye and imagination, I walk into their room and find that all the clothes are laid out already.

Granted I have a tendency to dress them as boys, and will invariably forget the importance of layers, and that spots and strips clash, and that socks are essential, and that a baby grow doesn't count as day wear, and that I dress them the same, i cant tell them apart for the rest if the day, but surely if you give me a chance, the law of averages will mean I'll get it right one day!

Someone call crime watch! I took this picture of a guy getting mugged in broad day light today. The 2 confidence tricksters are known in the local area and ply their trade by pretending to love their victims and then, when their guard is down, scratching their faces to pieces, pulling their hair and dribbling on them until they are given milk or rice cakes.

The suspects are described as looking exactly the same, to the degree that their father cant tell them apart.

They are around 2. Some previous victims had said they smell like a childrens play centre toilets but that has yet to be confirmed.

The one on the left is like, "sis I told you I smush the right eye, you smush the left". Some hand-me-downs, some brand new.

We offer up the hand made, ethically sourced, non toxic, bespoke blocks made from organic, carbon offset wood, lovingly sourced from Norway.

They look down their nose at them with disgust, decide they're tosh and toss them to one side. Then they go on a rampage to find keys, my wallet, my phone, anything that resembles a remote control and plastic packaging.

If that fails, they bug me until i give up the goods. These two have been round my ankles all day, literally. I've been walking around as if there's broken glass on the floor to avoid stepping on them no one wants to hear that cry you get when you accidentally tread on a small hand that's not where it should be - that's the point when you give yourself the 'shittest parent of the day' award.

At least they do a good job of cleaning the floors, I should put Polish down and strap a rag to their stomachs.

Might as well get them to pull their weight from an early age. FYI the tiles are from best tile UK. Encaustic Moroccan cement tiles.

The wonders of modern technology. Why, oh why did I give my eldest an ipod touch? Yes, its great to stay in contact while im away but my inbox is now full of emoji based spam from my bored daughter.

The emoji poo is a firm favourite. Today while in meetings, I convinced her that because I'm 8 hours ahead of her I. Took her a while to figure out that wasn't actually the case, made me laugh though!

Why does bathtime always involve cramming as many family members into one of the smallest rooms in the house at the same time?

I guess the eldest 2 like it as it's like a cheap version of the sea life centre. They get to watch these weird pink slippery things splash about and generally contort themselves out of these chairs while sucking the life out of some sponges.

Clemmie and I are there just play life guards and crowd control. I should charge admission. Actually, forget it - Health and safety would definitely shut us done.

Last night - "Oh daddy, remember to make our woodland themed costumes for school tomorrow! They were woodland fairies FYI.

That's a pretty clever and creative idea, using wire hangers and plastic film to make wings. Is this not one of the cutest photo ops ever?

Seeing everyone's reaction to your wedding look captured in a picture like this is priceless. Probably the best thing about your dad is that he knows how to cut the tension and make you laugh, every time.

Even though he might be calm on the outside, this father might just be trying to keep it together for the walk down the aisle.

A comforting touch of the hand as you walk down the aisle might be all you need to calm your nerves We absolutely love to see the softer side of dads and this picture is the ultimate emotional father moment.

We love the fact that these two couldn't resist having a bit of fun before the ceremony. This father and daughter shared a sweet moment on the wedding day, and it was all captured on camera.

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Pup refuses to walk by house with spooky decorations. Pure joy! Dog gets serious case of the 'zoomies' in car park.

Man with cerebral palsy loves going surfing with his dad in Utah. Smart puppies know how to open cage, go inside and close gate behind them.

How another president tried to hide his illness during a pandemic — and the disaster it created. Governor of Michigan speaks out after kidnapping plot.

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To add an item to your queue just click the sign next to the video. Explore Shows My Queue. Graphic Video: Nurses Caught In Sex Acts Next To Stroke Victim Two local nurses were allegedly recorded on surveillance video performing sexual acts in front of a year-old stroke patient under their care.

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